I. Personal Background

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A. My Origins and Locations

I was born in the city of Chicago in the late 1960's. I grew up northwest of the city in the suburbs. During my young adulthood, I lived in various parts of Illinois, after which I lived for several years in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Now, once again, I live in Chicago's northwest suburbs.

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B. The Woman with whom I Partner in Life

For fun, sometimes I like to affectionately call the woman with whom I partner in life "Wonder Woman" (or "Wunda" - as a short form)!

In April of the year 1999, I married Cherita, who originated in Buffalo, New York.

Among other things, Cherita designs websites, designs graphics for display on the Internet and does print design. Until April 2007 she coordinated research and development within the firm with which, by day, she creatively contributed and economically supported our family. Now she has switched to full-time web, graphic and print design. She also enjoys creatively writing poetry and fiction.

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Numerous times during the course of our marriage, when I've felt confused, troubled or worried, often simply by listening and offering me her silent presence, Cherita has managed to maintain what I've sometimes described as "a calm and level-headed disposition." And often when she has, given that my need for empathy has been met, I've felt both reassured and inspired.

With Cherita, I find that I easily feel affection, exhilaration, gratitude, hope, joy, peace and renewal - although typically not all in the same moment. As time goes on, I discover ever more how thoroughly Cherita helps satisfy such needs of mine as those for: closeness; freedom; intimacy; love; mutuality; touch; security; space; support; trust; visibility; flexibility; and warmth... among many others! With Cherita, I find that I also deeply satisfy my needs to see and be seen, to know and be known, and to understand and be understood.

And I feel delight when I consider how much Cherita helps fulfill my needs for romantic-sexual interaction.

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I hope that I help fulfill her needs in similar ways.

I find that with time, our relationship evolves, grows and develops such that we're always discovering more about ourselves, about each other and about our relationship. I've never once felt regret about Cherita's participation in my life.

Cherita's own personal website can be viewed here, and her professional website can be viewed here.

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C. Our Daughter

Our daughter, Aliana, who was born in March of the year 2002, sings, dances, discusses, plays, learns and - through these and other expressions and actions - helps satisfy our needs for closeness, companionship and love, and stimulates joy in us.

Since our daughter's birth, while Cherita has created web and print designs full-time to generate the income that supports our family, I've contributed full-time by providing care at home for our daughter.

Now, in addition, I also provide Aliana with homeschooling.

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D. My Mother

My mother, who was trained and certified in Montessori education, for years taught three-to-six year old children. Many have told me about their experiences observing her. Especially as they watched her interact with and help children to learn, such observers felt impressed by what they described as her patience and kindness.

In July of the year 2002, a few months after having been diagnosed with inoperable, ovarian cancer, on the night following the day when she first held our daughter (her only grandchild) in her arms - and during which day I felt astonished by how frequently my mother smiled and seemed to stimulate feelings of uplift in everyone around her - she died in her sleep.

Countless friends, family members and former co-workers deeply miss her. I especially miss what I experienced as her optimistic sense of life.

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E. My Father

If I experience any issues in connection with my father's idiosyncrasies, for now, I'll keep them to myself.

My father, now retired, for years analyzed investments for his employers. For most of his life, he's shown what he describes as a strong interest in economics, politics and current events.

For over thirty years, he had lived in the house where he and my mother had cared for my two younger brothers and me while we grew to adulthood.

Years later, following my mother's death, for more than two years, he continued living in that same house, all alone.

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F. My Brothers

I have two younger brothers.

1. Mark

One of my brothers, Mark, who is two years my junior, recently finished serving overseas on a military mission in Afghanistan. At other times he has served militarily in Kuwait and done police, detective and pharmaceutical sales work. His next step is to train at a helicopter flight school here in the U.S.

Mark's wife Jen lives in Wisconsin and in my judgment has contributed monumentally to everyone's ability to stay in touch with him.

I've enjoyed and benefited from my recent communications with both Mark and Jen. These communications have helped me to 1) appreciate their vitality and unique perspectives and 2) stay in touch with others about whom I personally care.

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2. Steve

My other brother, Steve, who is seven years my junior, sculpts, lives with his wife, Alex, who paints, and works in Connecticut.

Outside Cherita and Aliana, Steve satisfies my needs for dear and close connection with more endurance and depth than does any other person in the world. Notwithstanding our age difference, while we grew up, we always remained close. I was Best Man at his wedding and he was at mine (both ceremonies were officiated by Unitarian Universalist ministers) and I've always regarded him as my "best friend." (I've offered more about Unitarian Universalism in this About Me area of my website here.) I've never known anyone whom I could more fundamentally trust.

If I've succeeded at cultivating an optimistic and hopeful orientation toward life, I'm convinced it's largely thanks to my innumerable, positive and precious experiences with him. Over the years I've heard various individuals express that if either of us happened to feel blue, just putting us together would immediately light up our spirits.

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G. Our Move Back to my Childhood Home

Some might say that the house in which I grew up has exerted something like a "boomerang affect" on me.

More seriously... during the months of December 2004 and January 2005, my father fell ill and was hospitalized for more than a month. In spite of having suffered seriously, in my judgment, with time, his condition dramatically improved.

Even with such progress, however, in his judgment, Cherita's and mine, we agreed that he couldn't safely or effectively live by himself any longer. As this became evident to us, Cherita and I also considered our impression that my father felt frightened in relation to the prospect of moving into an assisted living facility.

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One day, Cherita suggested an idea. Some time after we discussed it with my father, Cherita, Aliana and I moved from Raleigh, North Carolina to the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois into my father's house - the same house in which my brothers and I had grown up - so that I could help take care of him.

Now, in addition to providing care and homeschooling for my daughter, I also provide care and assistance for my father.

Fortunately, Cherita and I have felt encouraged in relation to various aspects of how my father's rehabilitation and recovery have progressed. Also, Cherita and I feel delight now that Aliana and her grandpa enjoy spending so much time with each other.

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H. My Writing

1. Lifelong Interest

For as long as I've been able to, I've loved to write both fiction and nonfiction. In addition, in relation to religious and philosophical ideas, I've felt intrigued because I need meaning, understanding (including understanding of others) and learning as I develop my own strategies for finding meaning. For the sake of meeting such needs I've also always felt passionate about developing my personal convictions and worldview.

As a child, virtually from the moment that I could write at all, I loved writing short story fiction. During grade school, junior high, and in high school, I enjoyed writing fiction that often I would share with my friends so that they could enjoy it, too.

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2. Novel Collaboration

Several years ago, with the cooperation of a friend who years before had written an earlier draft of a full length novel which I had loved reading, I collaborated on the coauthorship of a newer version. Originally, my intention had been to add more vivid description. As time went on, though, I added numerous scenes, characters and subplots. In time, I added to the manuscript more than the number of words that had existed in the original version, thus more than doubling its length.

Even though I definitely didn't consider the novel "finished" after I had completed my initial, rewritten expansion, I thoroughly enjoyed and learned from this experimental process.

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In the years since, though, I've evolved personally in many ways. Given this evolution, if I were to write more now, my effort would significantly impact the novel's theme, plot, characterization, style and even its underlying philosophy.

So I doubt that if I resumed my effort I would finish that particular project in a way that would simultaneously remain true to a) the original intentions of the work b) my current values and c) my coauthor's values such that my coauthor would remain satisfied.

Even so, I'm tempted to say, "Never say never."

Although I remain grateful both for the opportunity that my coauthor gave me and for my having chosen to invest in that writing effort, I experience some doubt about whether that particular project will ever materialize in a form that he and I would feel equally enthused about publishing. Yet I feel no regret about having done that writing. I remain grateful to my coauthor for providing me with a kind of mentoring with my fiction writing that really helped meet my needs for learning, growth and progress.

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3. Systematic Exposition of my Worldview

Following the tragedy of September 11, 2001 and in anticipation of my daughter's birth, I felt profoundly concerned, saddened and moved. In an effort to help meet such needs of mine as for meaning, intelligibility, self-expression and progress, I chose to write a systematic, nonfictional exposition of my worldview.

Originally intended as an essay, my writing eventually ballooned into a book-length presentation.

Although my worldview has evolved substantially since I wrote that, ever since, I've felt grateful for my investment in that effort. Working on that project clarified immensely for me not only where I stand on a variety of issues related to religion, philosophy, the development of my personal worldview and their relationship to the practical living of my life. It also helped draw my attention to areas with which I had felt dissatisfied and helped me to establish a new foundation for my future evolution.

In a way that I expect will stimulate excitement and deep satisfaction in me, recently I've begun inventively working again on such systematic exposition.

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4. Critters Workshop

Critters is an on-line workshop/critique group for serious writers of Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror. You get your work critiqued in exchange for critiquing the work of others, both of which are invaluable ways to improve your writing.

As the website of Critters Workshop further explains,

The ultimate goal of Critters is to help writers improve, not only by having their work dissected by other members, but also by learning to dissect their own work (by, of course, dissecting others). The value of the latter is often overlooked by beginning writers.

During my participation in Critters Workshop, I wrote and submitted a short, science-fiction story for critique. In my story, I endeavored to "answer," in terms of my own outlook, what I had taken to be the outlook of another story that I had previously critiqued. In relation to what I had interpreted to be that other story's outlook I had felt profound dissatisfaction and irritation. My reading of that story hadn't met my needs for respect, consideration or compassion.

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I enjoyed writing my own story "in answer" and sharing it for critique by others. Writing and sharing my story this way helped meet my needs for self-expression, self-assertion, learning and progress.

Although readers who critiqued my story responded positively overall to it, they also offered a number of suggestions with which I resonated. In particular, with time and reflection, I concluded that I had portrayed my story's leading antagonist in a manner that didn't satisfy my needs for nuance, intelligibility or empathy. In many ways, I had written my story out of anger that I hadn't explored or understood as well as I would like. Reaching this understanding, I chose to reconsider some of my views about human nature and literary method. Ever since, I've continued to evolve my views in these realms.

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5. Writers' Group

During the years 2003-2004, Cherita and I thoroughly enjoyed participating in a Writers' Group in Raleigh, North Carolina whose members were mostly current, former and/or future, active participants in Unitarian Universalist congregations. (In a later section of this About Me area of my website, I've written more about Unitarian Universalism, here.) In this private and independent Writers' Group, we and other writers shared, read and critiqued one another's fiction and nonfiction. In Cherita's opinion and mine, we both learned much from this process. I shared and learned from others' reactions both to excerpts from a) my fiction and b) such sources as my systematic exposition of my personal worldview.

Since having moved, we've felt real sadness having missed our participation with such a group, and Cherita has begun exploring ways of starting a new one where we now live.

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6. National Novel Writing Month and No Plot? No Problem!

After having moved, however, Cherita and I ended up discovering something new in relation to which we felt engagement, excitement and interest: National Novel Writing Month. Many also refer to National Novel Writing Month (now an international event) as NaNoWriMo, which they pronounce "nanno rhyme oh." (Fulfilling what I'm guessing are her needs for self-direction and self-expression, Cherita often likes to pronounce it "nay no rhyme oh.") During NaNoWriMo, participants ask one another to attempt in thirty days' time to write a 50,000 word rough draft of a novel.

This website describes this event. NaNoWriMo founder Chris Baty also describes this event in his book, No Plot? No Problem!: A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days.

In 2005, Cherita and I thoroughly enjoyed reading No Plot? No Problem! In addition to teaching us all about NaNoWriMo, the book deeply satisfied our needs for humor, stimulation and hope.

In November 2005, we both participated in NaNoWriMo, and I did manage to exceed 50,000 words in less than 30 days. Although Cherita did not reach that target, she felt delight given that she, too, participated and managed to create the beginnings of a story that she wanted to bring to life. Doing so, we both met our needs for invention and progress, and I met my need for integrity.

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I still feel interest when I consider working more (in some form) with the rough draft that I generated in November 2005. In addition, Cherita expressed interest in collaborating with me on the work that she began during her participation in NaNoWriMo 2005.

In November 2006, again I took up the challenge and wrote another rough draft of a novel, and that time I also exceeded 50,000 words in less than 30 days.

Both years, my novels involved themes based in principles of Communicating Compassionately, for which approach I take inspiration from what I've learned from Marshall Rosenberg's process of Nonviolent Communication, about which I write more here in a later section of my About Me area of this website.

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Also in 2005 - in ways that I welcome, deeply appreciate, and that help fill my needs for encouragement, technical support and aesthetic savvy - Cherita helped me to launch this Living Action website. When I consider many of the ways in which this site has helped meet my needs for self-expression, communication and invention, including in writing and in my blog, I feel especially grateful. Although it's conceivable that I could have launched some sort of website without Cherita's assistance, I don't imagine that without her help it would have featured nearly as much content or that with any aspect of it I would have felt remotely as satisfied as I do.

I'm deeply grateful to Cherita for all the enduring help she's given me in launching, maintaining, and upgrading this site. In relation to such help I've felt really encouraged because it's so thoroughly met such needs of mine as for support, cooperation and collaboration.

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8. Public Speaking

As an adjunct to and application of my love for writing, I've exhibited a lifelong passion for public speaking. I've energetically engaged live audiences ranging in size from small numbers to approximately two thousand.

Such public speaking moments have included the following plus innumerable others.

• speeches in grade school
• reading my fiction aloud for my classes in junior high
• presentations in English classes, speech and debate team, as well as serving as emcee for a homecoming coronation assembly, all in high school
• more than twenty years ago, also while I was still in high school, a debate with the settled minister (who is now retired and Minister also Emeritus) at a Unitarian Universalist church
• presentations before a student organization that I started at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign
• numerous appearances before the New Intellectual Forum in Chicago and The Triangle Objectivists in North Carolina
• several Participant Sponsored Sessions and three, consecutive appearances as emcee of the In Performance variety show (for which I received an IOS award for outstanding work) at The Institute for Objectivist Studies (IOS) Summer Seminars, including when the IOS was later renamed The Objectivist Center (TOC), and which was still later renamed The Atlas Society (TAS)
• my March 2006 Affirmation during a worship service at church
• as co-chair of the church Membership Committee, my facilitation of our meetings
• my facilitation of two, Communicating Compassionately Covenant Groups and one, Communicating Compassionately Support Group, also at church
• my January 2007 participation as Pulpit Guest and Worship Leader during a worship service at the Unitarian Universalist church in which I participate in which I also presented an original sermon on the topic of Communicating Compassionately
• my six-part, February-March 2007 Communicating Compassionately Course, also at church
• my friend and colleague, Fran Hill, and I presented together our 3-part Assertive Communication workshop series (plus two, optional and complementary Participant Sponsored Sessions) at the 2007 TAS Summer Seminar in July

(I've written more in this About Me area about Unitarian Universalism and my church participation in a later section, here.)

I'm grateful for my many opportunities to meet my needs for self-expression, challenge and communication by means of both the written and spoken word.

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